Silent Lover

dear,



is it that hard to let go a person you have love for sometime? can anyone guide me in this? can anyone bring me out from such a suffering life? yes indeed my life is suffering though i do not have the looks. it would be because i can hide it very well. and no one knows about it.

yeah, im trying to free up my mind, but it never seems to work. no strings attached would be a very perfect word i use to describe someone in a relationship till they are married. but for myself, im seriously attached and i cant let go.

"oh god, bring me out from here. im all screwed up right now. guide me to the right direction. and i am, for sure, will be grateful with all my properties and never will disrespect. just bring me out. Amen."

this would be a prayer i send to god last night before i sleep.

and i wish he could hear me. and reply my prayers, and i know he will, as i have faith in him.

LET GO - would be a word which is so hard to put into action. i have taken this burden for some time. no matter how heavy it was, im still taking it. i would like to become a hero, but never knew im still zero. i might be bad at times, but do not take this opportunity to place those negatives over those positives things i have done. its not right nor its this is how it should be.

everyone deserves a second chance, and i have given you too many chances, as i have taken mine a few times too.

so WTF? i do not give a damn thing now anymore.

dear,



Here i am down with disappointment once again. and i still knows that no one cares, no one bears this down with me. and im still walking this road alone. though from the outer look, it seems that im cheerful and carefree, deep inside me anyone knows? i dont think even you know.

A definition of the word disappointment Disappointment, just double click on this link.

I ain't surprise with how you have treated me lately, and im writing here is not to let anyone knows what happen between us, but is more to a place where i could express myself. Im definitely not happy, and im for sure fucking angry. yes im, damn it.

Is this what we call Karma? What goes around come around right? Alright then... I get it.

I wanna express how my feeling is right now, but not a word in English which could describe it. maybe a lil story could show it. imagine this, you are a mom/dad and you have a child. your child behaves perfectly infront of you, his studies are so well, he could be a heavy breadwinner for your household. he gives you every promises and fulfill them, he is the perfect child. but a social influence in college, gets him down with drugs, weeds, and every other stuff you can think about. and you caught him doing so, well, the best part is, he blames you for what he is right now. is because of every excuses he can think of. how would you feelings be? if you can get deep into the examples, you would understand how i feel.

i have given everything i could, i have been a better person. did you not notice or am i not doing great enough? do you even need to lie and get everything done behind my back? or is it time for a "GAME OVER"?

i really cant handle this anymore, i have been very suffering myself. and you keep telling me you are suffering? i fucking dont understand.

dear,



im kinda lazy to update my blog. but im farkin annoyed with this biatch. how am i supposed to describe her? well, you see, she loves to flirt around like nobody's business, and she keep flirting lik she wanna get somebody to be on bed with her. what i don't understand is ain't she have a partner?

and the curiosity in me is "why do some girl wanna be a bitch when she can lead a happy life?".

everyone in this world is the same. whatever action they take will result their life. will this biatch lead a life they wanted? actually what do a biatch wanted? money and fuck? or happiness?if they wanted money and fuck, and they are happy, then i wish these biatches all the best.