Its been sometime... Again

Posted on 10:04 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

Dear,

Its been sometimes since i last published my post, AGAIN. Well, I'm trying to keep myself busy with my daily life. Unknown for what reason, i found myself at home today, after a breakfast, got into blogspot.com and here I'm writing this.

It have been a long ride to me. As all the while I keep finding activities for myself. Whether its a badminton game, a gathering, a snooker or even gamble. Everything to me is like so fresh.

I have never had a life like this before, but people do change right? However its not my heart that have changed, but rather I'm trying to change my heart, which I failed all the times.

Some words are meant to be private and confidential but still, I cant keep it to myself. Here is the only place which I can voice out. But I still feel so insecure. As this is publish publicly, LOL.

Lots of things happen lately which made me grew up, being a much much more mature guy, I THINK. However I cant resist the temptation of being flirtatious. I know i know that I'm not supposed to do so, but then nothing really happen. I'm just being talkative, so please don't, really, don't get me wrong. I hate being misunderstand, yet I am 100% lazy to explain. I only explain myself when I am alone, or I only will explain whenever I'm here. This is due to that no one will even read this fucking post.

Can jesus answer my prayer?

Posted on 9:04 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

LORD. what have happen to me recently? when one is in dark time, all the devils will be standing there to just to get a piece of me. right now, i know its raining and heavy storm here, but im learning to dance through out the rain. i know i may get sick, but at least i have fun and i know how to wait through the storm to pass.

Oh Lord, can you just let problem and matter leave me alone? i really wanna be someone w/o any problems. i wanna lead a carefree life, can u bring me somewhere i belong to?

Lord,

i saw so many pict of her, which makes me distracted yet i pray to lord for your safety and happiness. i know my fault and my mistakes, so i will not bother your life anymore. one will never know what brought us to such a situation, where this is how we end up. heart break, sad, tears, disappointment, all of them came to me when i was sleeping, and the feeling really sucks. now, all i ever wanted is your happiness, being the priority in your life. and you still lives in my heart.

and to her, im really down with the way you treated me. to me, you have never care nor even bother how i felt. however i wish you could change. im lost and i need some guidance through out this situation, not someone or something to worsen the situation. though im the guy here, but hey, guys gets lost sometimes too OK?

and to myself, i hope that this is the ending yet another new beginning for me. i wish myself all the best and i hope this beginning is the one i wanted so badly.

still, i will not give up on myself no matter what happen. though this is my first experience, i gain a lot, and i mean a lot.

another disappointment

Posted on 6:17 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

in my life, why is there so many disappointment? i rarely disappoint another person. well, rarely but there still is.

this girl have shown me a lesson, which is to get out of such a suffering love. well, sign, sealed and delivered. but what i dont even understand is how could she be the sofohaifai again. aint she wants to lead a better life? i dont understand at all. im jotting down here is because i do not want her to be such a SFHF.

she have been betrayed, disappoint, and now she is back to the where she would have been. yeah, PTMLFU. she told me this which until today i have not found out the real answer, ROFL. maybe is just a "FU" at the end of the statement.

in most cases, i would refer her as childish. or maybe something we call "immature". or what so ever.

alright, maybe i'm not in her shoes so i do not know what exactly have happen.

sometimes all this happen i would call this "KARMA".

VLLF have treated me like this before, so what goes around comes around. i have never blamed anyone for what have happens as all this is part of life. maybe its a time for me n VLLF to go through, to see how much we love each other.

i might never have the chance to be with VLLF again, as she have choosen a HKSC. i ain't gonna be sad over what happen, if possible, i would just go back to my single life which i think would be a good time right now, as i can focus on finding more money and friends which i lack of right now.

by this time, VLLF is already going to airport. well, all the best to VLLF and CWLC. i realize i lost 2 person in less than 2 days, LOL.

It's a morale there is a morale to be learnt which only i, myself know it.

i am an idiot with a lil laziness

Posted on 2:13 AM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

its been a week since i ever wrote to you.. but to me, i stil have the same words...who would even give a fuck on my blogs or post. im not anyone popular nor am i someone important.

yeah, for the question of " then why are you still writing this blog?" my answer would be "its none of your business on what ever shits i do, as long as i know what shit i get. you can leave right now if you do not want to continue any further down."

well, for this weeks update, let me tell you bout something which i have been keeping for sometimes. it might be considered a secret but, i think a lot of peepz out there have know this very well.

do you all know what brand uses a rabbit as their signs? PLAYBOY
yes, playboy. though my looks is like shit, and i am poor, with nothing in my hand and my wallet, i still can seduce girls. ROFL. maybe its just my mere luck, or sometimes i would call it an attraction. but attraction? LOL, what do i have to make someone attracts to me? im not so sure, but i have a skill, a job which i think i may succeed in if i do it...

some says my acting skills are very good, especially my ex. im not so sure whether should i even post this out, cos i think my girl will leave me after this. LOL

anyway, that was forever ago...

just voicing out to let myself feel better

I do not know what you girls really wanted...

Posted on 10:47 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

im doin this alone. not that someone brought me into this stage, maybe its just a destiny. probably you are gonna start a fight, but this aint right, i know you know. i had loved you endlessly though you werent there for me. so now its time for me to leave, and make it on my own.

i know that i cant take no more, it aint no lie. yeah, i know it would be breaking my heart, but i had enough of L-O-V-E.

sometimes im wondering, am i the player in the game for 2, or did im just the victim. i dont really wanna make it tough, but i just had enough. and yes, i totally agree with my life would be better once you disappeared from my life.

im giving up i know for sure, though there is a tiny chance, but im totally out of this game. i dont wanna be the reason for both of you, having to quarrel, and also not in love. i know both of you are in love. so lets take a time out.

another choice might not be a better option

Posted on 12:27 AM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

if you give up on a plan A, you gotta make sure plan B go smooth. sometimes plan A might have a lil hope which no one realize it until its too late. never give up on plan A until plan B is successful. its a lesson i learn recently through a book i read.

in my life, i have taken so many life changing choices. and so do you all. one will never know the ending before it comes.

i look upon you, as my true hero. a hero which saves me from the ripper, however u left me in mute. i wasnt able to speak, to tell, to describe, the hurt in heart. i hate this feel. i hate that i love you. why would someone turn their back on me, after they save me? well, you have left me feeling numb. i have no feeling towards anyone or even anything now.

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i give up on every plan i have now as i know, nothing much is better than being alone, spending time on family, so much more we can do with a single life.

thanx to those who have done so to me

A line have been drawn

Posted on 6:30 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

yesterday night or maybe some call it this morning, a line have been drawn in my life. i was still unable to overcome my obstacles before. as of yesterday, i think and i hope everything will be fine from now onwards.

vicky liew - a very nice girl i ever known in my entire life. she will accompany you through ups and downs together. she cry when u cry, she laugh when u laughs.

clovey wong - though i just knew her for that short lil time, she save me out from being a silly person in my life which is the relationship. she showed me what this world mean.

vicky liew change my life a lot. and i mean really A LOT. and only she knows, i know, god knows. she might be childish and naughty at times, but this is her character and attitude. its not fair to change her. i have done so much for her, but she dont notice anything? can u see the details, and not see the pict as a whole? every lil details, completes the pict. you never appreciated what i have done for you.

clovey wong appeared in my life to tell me that not to be a stupid person. her advice was to be the man in charge and not let anyone lead my life. her advice was, indeed, very true. somehow for the words she said, my heart fell for her. i have never have this feeling with the opposite sex in the last 3 years.

all i ever wanted for the last 3 years was just vicky vicky and vicky. she was everything to me. i can give up anything for her which i know myself, is very sofo haifai. she save me out of thins thinking, she showed me what the world may mean. she show me i still have my family to care. i really would like to thank her with all my heart. if she did not appear, i, will still be, the silliest person ever.

happy birthday to myself...wishing myself all the best....

Posted on 8:43 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

before i continue any further, would like to wish myself a happy birthday. thanx for those tiny frenz which make a big difference on this day. though just a few of them, im taking this opportunity to thanks them.. thanks to vicky liew, clovey wong, angeline yee, eric tan, kelvin gan and also meikuen foo.

Well this year's bday i will not be celebrating with vicky liew anymore. she have found her love one and i wish her all the best. she might hate me, but i hope she can be happy with her new found love. well, all the best to you if you are reading this. take good care of yourself and please, do eat and do not, vomit, after eating. in this almost to 3 years relationship, i might have hurt her and made her cry or even suffer at times. sincerely, accept my apologize please.

So, this year i will be celebrating with clovey wong. its nice having her by my side. well, her singing vocal is perfectly good. her voice and vocal is a perfect combination. maybe she can be the next big star of malaysia.

and yeah, this post was written on 22/2/2010, but i failed to post it out for some what reason.

you miss the shot, now is gone

Posted on 8:41 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

a song from eminem goes like this

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"Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?"

its a very meaningful quote. chances only comes for a time and then it will be gone with the wind. i have gave you so many chances, and you stil do not take the appreciation and be grateful of what you have. when the flame of the candle is almost been blow off, i tried my ver best just to keep it light. i kept it warm beside you. but you never seems to care. the candle i cant keep it alight anymore. i have used so much of my time, my energy, my life.

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right now, i feel so tired. its like after 2 football match against MU. right now, i would just like to cool it off for a moment and depends on how the flow works.

you have break my heart again and again. and im sorry i do not want that to happen anymore. my heart is shattered like a broken glass drop on a rock. tiring and disappointment is the only 2 friends which follow me now.

anyway, i gotta call it off by now.

A tigress-less CNY

Posted on 6:31 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

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this year CNY and V-day falls on the same date. well, where am i? im with my frenz along. there wont be any day similar to V-day for me this year. yes, im currently single AGAIN. or maybe can say it's complicated. anywayz, who gives a damn? there is a quote i'd like to say ALWAYS, " a higher hope, a bigger disappointment".

this year V-day sucks for me. though im celebrating with my frenz, somehow deep inside me i feel lonely. a 3 years love, can just fall so easily. it really breaks my heart deep down.

long story short, all lies. everything start from a lie. why would someone create a lie and destroy the future of humanity.

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dear LIE, you sucks. LIE, you could not fix anything but just to worsen it. you let LIE unnerve you. how could that be? how could you let LIE control you and your feelings? you let LIE put words in your mouth, your head, your mind.

Let go...

Posted on 9:47 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 1 comments

dear,

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is it that hard to let go a person you have love for sometime? can anyone guide me in this? can anyone bring me out from such a suffering life? yes indeed my life is suffering though i do not have the looks. it would be because i can hide it very well. and no one knows about it.

yeah, im trying to free up my mind, but it never seems to work. no strings attached would be a very perfect word i use to describe someone in a relationship till they are married. but for myself, im seriously attached and i cant let go.

"oh god, bring me out from here. im all screwed up right now. guide me to the right direction. and i am, for sure, will be grateful with all my properties and never will disrespect. just bring me out. Amen."

this would be a prayer i send to god last night before i sleep.

and i wish he could hear me. and reply my prayers, and i know he will, as i have faith in him.

LET GO - would be a word which is so hard to put into action. i have taken this burden for some time. no matter how heavy it was, im still taking it. i would like to become a hero, but never knew im still zero. i might be bad at times, but do not take this opportunity to place those negatives over those positives things i have done. its not right nor its this is how it should be.

everyone deserves a second chance, and i have given you too many chances, as i have taken mine a few times too.

so WTF? i do not give a damn thing now anymore.

A letter to a dear

Posted on 6:16 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

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Here i am down with disappointment once again. and i still knows that no one cares, no one bears this down with me. and im still walking this road alone. though from the outer look, it seems that im cheerful and carefree, deep inside me anyone knows? i dont think even you know.

A definition of the word disappointment Disappointment, just double click on this link.

I ain't surprise with how you have treated me lately, and im writing here is not to let anyone knows what happen between us, but is more to a place where i could express myself. Im definitely not happy, and im for sure fucking angry. yes im, damn it.

Is this what we call Karma? What goes around come around right? Alright then... I get it.

I wanna express how my feeling is right now, but not a word in English which could describe it. maybe a lil story could show it. imagine this, you are a mom/dad and you have a child. your child behaves perfectly infront of you, his studies are so well, he could be a heavy breadwinner for your household. he gives you every promises and fulfill them, he is the perfect child. but a social influence in college, gets him down with drugs, weeds, and every other stuff you can think about. and you caught him doing so, well, the best part is, he blames you for what he is right now. is because of every excuses he can think of. how would you feelings be? if you can get deep into the examples, you would understand how i feel.

i have given everything i could, i have been a better person. did you not notice or am i not doing great enough? do you even need to lie and get everything done behind my back? or is it time for a "GAME OVER"?

i really cant handle this anymore, i have been very suffering myself. and you keep telling me you are suffering? i fucking dont understand.

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A biatch i known...

Posted on 12:04 AM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

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im kinda lazy to update my blog. but im farkin annoyed with this biatch. how am i supposed to describe her? well, you see, she loves to flirt around like nobody's business, and she keep flirting lik she wanna get somebody to be on bed with her. what i don't understand is ain't she have a partner?

and the curiosity in me is "why do some girl wanna be a bitch when she can lead a happy life?".

everyone in this world is the same. whatever action they take will result their life. will this biatch lead a life they wanted? actually what do a biatch wanted? money and fuck? or happiness?if they wanted money and fuck, and they are happy, then i wish these biatches all the best.

Life

Posted on 5:24 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

If you had 1 chance, only 1 opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, the 1 moment, would you grab or just let it slip? the only chance for you be to successful, to be on top of the world, to be having lots of cash in hand, but you will have to sacrifice precious thing, maybe your time, your loved ones, or even your sleep, can you?

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"Life is just one damned thing after another." - Elbert Hubbard

Life is short and live it to the max when ever you can. Live your life as though everything is a miracle, not nothing is a miracle. then you will realize how everything in this world is a magic. everything that happen to you will be so beautiful.

For sure, life has its ups and downs, and every of this scattered pieces is what makes your life wonderful, thus you will cherish more of your life. my advice to all of you is live your life as though is your last and you will appreciate everything you have. im trying to do so, that's why i'm trying to get rid of everything which is meaningless to me, yes, everything which have zero meaning to me.

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Im not Emo

Posted on 3:43 AM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

Dear,

translated with the help of google, lolx

我们的爱改变,可能我们在一起太久了
你想要的不是我, 时间飞到太快了
谁可以懂以后时间我们会在一起吗?
有时我们很高兴, 但是我觉得是很痛苦
什么了我们都那么累了, 我们的爱呢?
是没了吗?
想要对爱说,再见

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though is short, it's what i felt,
i cant deny i love her,
but, this is not the way i wanted,
i give up, i give in,

i really do.....

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Pick Up lines...

Posted on 10:46 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 1 comments

Dear,

any GUYS wondered when to use a pick up lines? anyone uses the wrong line at the wrong time? or maybe some which are too straight? for example:

"nice legs, what time are they open?"
or maybe
"we should save water, so you should shower with me!"

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LOL

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yes, this lines might be hilarious, but you will never get anywhere with her. pick up lines are seductive and funny at times, but at sometimes is offensive and insulting too. i'm here just to share some bad pick up lines guys never should use, and i mean NEVER USE

- Excuse me, I'm a short on cash, would you mind if we share a cab back home together?

- You must be tired because you’ve been running through my head all night
(PLAIN LAME)

- I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples. Can i have a look?

- Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?

Decision making

Posted on 1:37 AM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

dear,

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i 100% agree with the quotes above. it is indeed very true. everything that happens now and then, there is a tiny little reason behind it. every single move you make, every step you take, will eventually affect what could happen soon.

yes, living life simple is always the best choice. but somehow, in everywhere they will be black sheep in a family. and i don't mean black sheep from a negative point of view. what i meant was the 1 which is outstanding from the rest.

sometimes life will give you a few opportunities, and which ever you chose, never regret with it. ye, i do have my regrets as im a human being and human being do mistakes a lot, and i mean A LOT. but i never look back to what i have done. some might say im cold and heartless at times, but this is in me. because of the road i took yesterday, it would be the reason im writing this blog today. however we should think of the consequences before we make any decision.

this is a story from an email i read today, and indeed is very true:

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A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.


The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?


Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make........

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?


Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.


The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.


While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

-----------------------------------

I might be irritating but I am honest

Posted on 6:59 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

L & G,

Do you all realize what is happening to our young gen this days? If you see everywhere right now, all guys and gals, is trying to put on a mask and lives in this society. they are living beneath their own life, how can someone pretend to be somebody else? Arent they suffer while hiding their true self?
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and they all are like dying to be on Tv with those diet pills and even plastic surgery. Some can owe credit card debt up to few finance institute just to live the life they desired for A moment, and be suffering for the next FEW moment.

and if you all do facebook-ing, you will notice some guys or gals, keep on adding and adding unknown person. some might are even so proud when they have added to 5000 peepz. And they will like be posting on their status proudly "Facebook can only add 5000 people?" To me this lads are so silly. I would like to throw them a simple question " How many people do you really know out of the 5000?" And i would like to see how stupid and idiotic they can be.

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Yes, i might be hurting and offending, but i am just telling the truth and speak what is in my mind.

Steamboat @ Yuan @ Sunway

Posted on 6:05 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

Alright,
So after my money was gone, feeling moody and down. So my friend Mel came...
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As plan, we went to Sunway to have steamboat at a place called Yuan if I'm not mistaken. The seafood is absolutely delicious, and the price is quite reasonable. And there is entertainment as well. Every 15 - 20 mins, the worker will bring out a big pot of marmite chicken wings. So everyone will be rushing, pulling, banging, crawling over there just to get the wings. Its damn delicious.
Here is a random screen shots of those ppl getting those wings, and some MODELS showing how tasty the foods are.
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AND THIS WOULD BE AFTER THE SUCCESSFUL CHICKEN GRABBING SESSION
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Everyone was full, and yes they are damn full.

After those delicious meal, we went to Desa Park City to chill out. Thought of getting some low alcohol drinks lik Sub or maybe Kampai, but then the 7-11 do not have any. So we end up getting some Shandy. The place is very romantic I think, as there is so many couples hanging out there.

So we took some pict, chill out, and the end of the days which will be exhausted, because we need to drive back to Sban. Luckily, It wasn't me....

And this is my girl, only one ok?
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And this are the peeps
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And the pose of the day would be.....
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IM ALWAYS NOT IN THE PICT AS IM NOT PHOTOGENIC ENOUGH.. SO I DO NOT WANNA SPOIL THE PICT..LOLX

Luck, or no luck?

Posted on 9:27 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

Smile

My lady luck is there when i needed, and she ran away when i most needed.
21/01/2010 - thought of going to get a pair of Nike shoes, a pair of Levi's jeans and Sub slack.

Smile Smile

1st i went into Nike looking around and around, finally foudn what my heart desires. Inform the sales girl to get me a size 8 shoes to try on. Tried, walk around, look around, and YES I'm going to get this so bloody cool sneakers. Told her Im ok with it, and I walk arouund lookin for some shirt or maybe some cap, but im not really satisfy with any. So went to the counter to make a payment....search the left pocker, right pocket, back pocket...Where the fuck is my money? Damn, i drop it? WTF?

And there i was stranded in the Nike shop, hoping to get my CNY sneakers, but DAMN....

I walked out from the shop, feeling down and moody..

My new items have now gone with the wind.

Why am i being so careless? Its not a small amount, dude.. And its not the first time this happen to me.

Friends are for sale

Posted on 9:27 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

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I think at times, where are my friends? I don't think my friends will be reading this blog at all. This is just a place for me to voice out what shit I've got to say, let the memories stay in blogspot.com, and come back with my email & passwords after twenty years to review what I've done on 2010.

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I do notice everywhere i go, for sure i'll bump into my friends. It's not that Im popular or what, however We will chat for a couple of minutes and then gone with the wind. It's been so long since i updated my friends list. Or do i even have 1?

It's kinda pathetic at times when we care so much for a person, helpin out, doing every lil things for them, and all you ever get is betrayal. No, I do not wish to get anything in return, but YES, i want a loyal friend. What confuse me most is, how can someone, for the sake of his pocket, betray a close friend? Is it that money it's harder to find yet friends are easier to get? I can conclude that ppl with more cash, have a lot more friends which those less penny.

Attention PLS....

Posted on 9:16 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

Im also a human being with emotion. Yes, I might be cool at times, speechless and just wanna be alone. But that doesn't man I do not need any attention from you guyz. Sometimes i do think and think, what is the reason im born here. Is it just a process? A cycle of life? Or am i just being recycled? WTF?

Life is short and i wanna live life to the fullest. This is my life, and its getting even harder to feed and water my seeds.



This is Bon Jovi - It's my life.
This is your life and you are not living your life for others and there isn't any strings attached, so do not be lik a puppet and be controlled.

Dont anyone felt sometimes we are out of place? Or is it just me only?

Life sux actually. Everyone is doing the same routine everyday. Why there isn't anyone who wanna stand out from the rest? Im trying to do it, but it never seems success...

Can anyone save me?

Hei guys...

Posted on 6:43 PM by James K. Kim Soon | 0 comments

Yo, pals:

Back with a few to none updates for you guys, however i know no one will be reading this junk. No worries, I've expected and I'm just trying to improve my Eng here.. recently i feel my english grammar or what so ever is getting from bad to worst, so i feel that writing a blog would keep my english.



Alright, here is some update bout me. Most of the time me and my gal keep quarreling. What really happen to us? Every lil things i do, or she does, makes either 1 of us unhappy. Yes, maybe sometimes i tend to act cool and not tell you anything, but that doesn't make me from not loving you. But what really happen to you? You are so not you anymore. Not anymore. I'm selfish at times; no doubt. Though I'm tough on the outside, but in my heart, the pain and scars makes me wanna rip off my chest and dig the shatterred heart out.




Sometimes i ever wonder, if being together with you is a mistake made by Hell for me. But then, at time i would also wonder are you the Angel sent from Heaven to me, like you are the best things happen to me and the reason i would spend my time just thinkin bout you.

I'm all in vain now. I give up, give up and give up. Let it go with the flow and what you want from me, just take it, and leave the remains for me to keep a memory of you.

JUST F*CK OFF FROM MY LIFE